'I feel Parisian, I feel French. They can't win': Paris after the attacks

Parisians tell us how France is coming to terms with the events of the last week

Nicole Story: ‘Panic spread in seconds, hundreds and hundreds of people, running, screaming’

On Saturday night, in the Place de la République, we lit a candle in memory of the tragic deaths of 13 November. Everyone was lighting candles, leaving flowers, writing heartbreaking and inspiring messages. People were singing the French national anthem, chanting: “Liberté, solidarité, on n’a pas peur” (we are not afraid). It was a scene that couldn’t help but move you to tears.

In the next surreal moment, police with machine guns began running towards us, and almost in a dreamlike state we realised people were beginning to run out of the square. Panic spread in seconds, hundreds and hundreds of people, running, screaming. People were turning over tables in cafes and hiding behind them. Everyone heard what they believed to be gunshots but were later reported to be only a firecracker prank. In that moment, in the middle of the hysteria, and the sirens, and the fear, we truly believed we were running for our lives, from what we also believed to be gunshots behind us.

While this was all only a false alarm in the heightened tensions of Paris, to have experienced on a much, much smaller scale the terror so many must have felt and do feel today in so many places is something that cannot be put into words. My heart aches for humanity in times like these.

Everyone is clearly on edge; every siren, every glass broken, every car backfiring provokes a level of sudden fear that would’ve been unimaginable before these attacks. False alarms have been going off all over the city, in many cafes people rushing to take cover believing there is a shooter in the building, a few hours earlier the main building of my university was evacuated suddenly, police rushing in, students panicking and running into the street – and again it was only a false alarm. Everyone is in a hyper-vigilant state. Everyone is feeling the tragedy of this past weekend. Something has changed in the air that is impossible to describe.

However, not only is Paris a city of love and of light, but it is a city of life. It is a city of beauty, of laughter, of the little things, a glass of wine, a long talk at a café. Above all, it is a city of strength and I know that we will never let hate win. Paris is my home now and I will pray for peace not only here, but in Beirut, Baghdad, and all places where anyone has to feel afraid to walk out of their homes in the morning.